Success Is Relative…Victory Is Sweet...It truly is when you really come to think of it. It is important to keep this in mind with the Lap-Band or the Realize Band, because everyone’s journey is different. I cannot compare my journey to any other person’s journey or even to the “averages.” It is not fair to any of the parties. It is also important NOT to compare the journey to someone who has had a different type of surgery. We are the only ones who can determine whether or not we are successful, along with the consultation of our physicians (sometimes it has been my surgeon who has helped me stay in perspective and continue the endeavor). Many of us have a history with various weight loss ventures that have led to a sense of failure. We need to forget the past, and accept this journey as a new beginning. Take on the attitude that ANY LOSS IS A SUCCESS! Write it down; post it where it can be seen.
The Band is an awesome tool, and it is important to learn how to work it, and it can take more time for one person than another. Everyone gets frustrated from plateaus or any other form of setback, and these will happen from time to time. I don’t know how much it can be emphasized that the Band is not a magic bullet.
For some, not gaining any additional weight may be their success. A person can be successful whether the numbers are 20 or 200 pounds. Sometimes we just need to change our patterns of thinking, and chucking some of the stuff we were raised to believe about success and failure. All too often, it is so easy to discount ourselves. Every compliment ought to be followed with a “Thank you” and any other positive information that is chosen to share. I can only relate to some of the attitudes I have needed to change in myself, hopefully these will be helpful to others.
Focus on short-term goals rather than the big picture. This makes things simpler and not so daunting…. Celebrate each accomplishment. At my initial consultation there were two weight loss goals set (the big picture)… ideal weight and personal goal. Only after surgery did my surgeon indicate what he felt was a realistic goal. Getting down to what is considered “ideal” would be too much.
Ask, “Would I have been able to lose weight to the degree I am now and maintain it without the Band/surgery?” If the answer is no, then there is a victory in acknowledging that we have a tool that if properly maintained, can assist for life.
Others will notice and comment, whether or not the journey is shared. So, if choosing to share specific numbers, eliminate words like “ONLY: yes, but; ” from the vocabulary: Usually the conversation would be, “You’ve been losing weight, haven’t you?” Yes, but, I’ve only lost xx lbs, ” ought to be “Thanks for noticing, yes I’ve lost XX lbs?
There are different types of success: scale victories (SV’s) and non-scale victories (NSV’s).
Please, get off the scale… these numbers are actually the least important in our lives. Reserve the scale for places outside of the home; such as the doctor’s office (any doc), the gym. Attempt to get in the habit if there is access to a scale, limit the frequency of using it to once or twice a week. Daily weighing can be a set-up for obsession and/or perceived failure. I have found it exciting when seeing the numbers change at the doctors’ office.
Take pictures and measurements. Start a scrapbook of your journey. There can become a point where some measurements are more difficult to make. At some point the scars even move.
Acknowledge/celebrate (write down) every “little” thing that is some action that wasn’t able to be done before (NSV’s). Examples: eliminating medication; feeling better, every change in size (includes clothing, jewelry, shoes, etc.); needing to try things on rather than just grabbing the largest size; a gap between the steering wheel and tummy; the ability to move the driver’s seat forward and not have to stretch to reach the pedals (especially for us short folks); getting rid of the seat belt extender; climbing stairs with less effort; breathing better; crossing legs; reduced pain, exercising, etc.
Maintain REGULAR visits with the surgeon/clinic. Doing this helped me get over the “guilt” I felt if I wasn’t losing what I thought was “enough.” I did not always get an adjustment at these visits. It has helped me stay on track. I also learned to not be afraid if I felt something was amiss.
Ultimately, look at new ways to view success in a positive way. Do not discount the small stuff, and celebrate all of the little wins. This will assist you in continuing the journey and maintaining it.
Remember with each loss so much more is gained!
